NO TO STUDENT LOANS (ONLY FOR THE PROLES, WE COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK, WE'RE LOADED)

The Socialist Wanker Student Societies (SWSS) are the jewel in the crown of the SWP, but very similar to the main party where there are no actual workers. The SWSS is full to bursting of students, the student unions are fertile grounds for the SWP – people come in young and idealistic, unprepared for just how wankerish the SWP are.

The SWP have finely adapted a method of burning out members after between two to three years. The dissidents leave after graduation, so not a voice of dissent can be heard throughout the campus, ready for a new intake, and the cycle can begin again.

In the freshers' bazaar, students are ready to join virtually any group, and with the SWP's method of counting members, 1 active member from 7 paid up members in a university quickly becomes 70, and with every person signing a petition, increases the number by ten.

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