Attendance at branch meetings is compulsory and these are held weekly but only in pubs in the GAY TRIANGLE of Leeds. Failure to attend is punishable with an immediate phone call (within 20 minutes or less), and in severe cases, the dreaded coffee, where you will be lectured on not taking the whole thing seriously (as if you could).

The branches must be kept small enough, that if the need arises, they can be flooded to force the party line, and kill all independent thought. Current actions will not be discussed, branches are kept too small to do anything anyway. All planned actions are sent down from central office, to the branches. There can be no room for debate in the SWP, a truly democratic organisation, following the path of Chairman Mao.

The Branch structure is a clever way of socially engineering the party so we can force out those showing symptoms of independent thought, which does not conform to Leon Trotsky's ideals of a Fourth International, and so they don't infect others, or to isolate them, so they don't spread this evil cancer, while they are being reindoctrinated.